I’m learning about letting go: of fears, of the need for control and of certain aspects of my love for people around me. I’ve learned that these attachments have caused me so much pain. Love between humans at least, is entangled with pain. This makes me want to instinctively shut everyone out and just protect myself; though the reality is that I simply can’t do that.
Human beings are by nature faulty, we make mistakes, we get emotional, we say and do things we’d later regret. We are weak, selfish and we have the capacity to inflict unbearable pain and bring unexplainable joy.
Allah (awj) tells us this much in the Quran. The thing is, that it isn’t simply a fact to be known, but the idea should bear fruits like compassion towards ourselves and others. As well as having measured and appropriate expectations.
The pain we experience is mostly born out of the crashing waves, constant and often sudden switching between good times and bad ones. Those neck-breaking ups and downs can mess you up. The sharp fluctuations are too severe to bear on an on-going basis.
It’s built into our very nature (fitrah) to seek out a steady, reliable, secure, ever-present kind of love. And the truth is, that it only comes from Allah (swt). After knocking on the doors of creation one after the other, from friendship to relationship to marriage, with our broken hearts and a gaping void – that’s only widening with each bad experience – we learn that lesson the hard way.
They can’t give you what you need. Seek it from the One who can.
Learn to reserve that precious part of your heart for the only One who can honour it and give it its due right. Stop giving that fragile beautiful heart to reckless human beings who will at best break it.
If you’re able to be with Allah through your difficulty and you make that relationship solid then you’ve gained the whole world and everything in it. In closing I’ll share one of my latest duas:
اللهم املأ قلبي محبة لك و إقبالا عليك و حياءا منك
O Allah fill my heart with a love for You, and a want to come closer to You and grant me ‘hayaa’ watchfulness and shyness to disappoint or displease You. Ameen
Calligraphy by @abdurrahmandepeler on instagram reads: “But Allah is the best guardian, and He is the most merciful of the merciful.” (12:64)